So. Yes. This is my first post in a while. In over a year to be precise. The blog thing didn’t quite work out as well as I had hoped. Mainly because I have no discipline, and also because my mind wanders almost a little too easily. I started this blog so that I could have something to do, something to hold onto, something that was mine, and that provided me with the motivation I needed to pursue this whole writing craze I’ve had all my life. And you know, I figured it was about time that I actually got up off of my ass and finally did something to accomplish at least one of the millions of unattainable goals I had set myself. (Which is rather ironic, as I’m sitting on my ass while writing this). Never really had any delusions of this blowing up and me getting a publishing deal or anything. But as long as a few people would be able to read what I have to say and didn’t mind it too much then that would be a massive win for me. Which I guess, is what brought me back to this blog. Yes, I’ve always dreamt of being able to write. But it was never in any sort of capacity. As long as I can write and as long as I can put it all somewhere. I’m a happy chappy. The motivation I had when I started this blog up, that motivation lasted about ten minutes. And after a year of doing absolutely fucking nothing (with the blog… I actually got a lot done in life, I mean I did nothing with the blog). I realised, that in life, motivation is only a small part of doing what you want to do. In fact the motivation, it won’t last very long at all. The only way to be able to do what you want to do, is to find a way to do it even when you don’t want to do it.
Went off on a little tangent there. Yo! Have you guys heard about this Coronavirus thing? Lol! I’m just kidding, I know you all know what’s going on. It even seems like it’s the only thing everyone’s talking about these days. Which I find rather poetic. As before all of this, we all just seemed to be racing through life, full throttle with about a million and one things on our minds every single second of the day. And now the whole world seems to have just stopped. And we all collectively just have one thing on our minds. Way I see it, this could go two ways. We’ll either come together as a species against one common enemy and are able to prove to ourselves and each other that no matter what comes our way we are stronger united; which is a place from which we can learn to love each other again (given that we ever did love each other to begin with). Or the second way, which is that we’ll all probably die. Anyway, I don’t really want to go down that road too much. As I mentioned, it’s getting enough coverage at the moment. I would for a moment at least, like to take a break from all of that and talk about something different. And if it allows your mind to wander from all of this for a second too then that’s a job well done.
Now I don’t exactly want to be preachy or introspective. But since the whole world has gone into lockdown. I’ve had a lot of time to think. Like a LOT of time. Like seriously way too much fucking time to think. And one good thing that has come from that; is that I have a lot more shit to write about so that’s good. But also, I’ve had a chance to go over a lot of decisions I’ve made in life. Decisions that affected me and the people around me. And I know, and I always have known that I have hurt the people I love by being selfish and careless. But I’ve never taken a minute to understand what I’ve learnt from each decision and the outcomes that followed. What did I learn from them what can I take away. If I can’t do that. Then why did they happen in the first place? They say one has to learn from their mistakes, but what did I learn from mine? Isn’t that the whole point of life? Isn’t that why old people are so wise? And I’m not just talking about me here. What about you? What was one thing you ever learnt from something you did in your life; good or bad? Why did you do it? How did it change you? Did it make you better or worse? Do you regret it? Just take some time to think about it. We both know you have the time. And if you don’t, then make time. Because you have to be able to understand yourself. If you can’t, then no one else could either. And yes you can argue that you don’t need anyone to understand you, but that would just be one hell of a lonely life. We should be able to analyse ourselves. I’ve heard many people tell me why they think that they’re not good enough. Everyone is quick to judge and critique themselves. But no one seems to want to do anything about it. I’m not going to sit here and say don’t be hard on yourselves. A little pressure applied in the right way can help anyone prosper. But that’s the catch. Applying it in the right way. That’s the hardest thing to do. Now let’s say you don’t like the way your nose looks. Now that’s just unnecessary pressure. If you got a big ass nose, then you got a big ass nose. That’s just how you’re wired. There’s no positive outcome from putting pressure on yourself for the way you look. (Unless you’re trying to lose weight, but for this point let’s just stick with the whole nose thing). Now, let’s put your big ass nose to one side and think about a relationship you had that didn’t work out. Now it’s important not to blame yourself for anything. But it is helpful to think about the decisions you made in that relationship; the things you said and the way you acted. If you really think about it and find that you did everything right and that you tried your absolute best then you know what you’re doing right and you know what to carry into the next relationship. But if there was something you could have done different. Then you could put pressure on yourself to do it a little differently the next time around. Play your cards right and who knows what could happen.
Now, I know this is only a small thought, but I think that’s the whole point. You can’t expect to master your mind in one day; or even with one thought. It usually takes many thoughts and many days, way too many if you ask me. But you have to start somewhere, and where better to start than with yourself. And that’s partly the reason why I’ve kept this blog post so short. It would be easy for me to rattle on for pages and pages about this that and the other but I feel it’s easier for both you and me since we both know we’re shit at paying attention. And it is probably going to be a lot easier to digest in small bites. If I am incorrect you can let me know.
If you took any of that on board and actually do try to do a little self-reflection (no pressure, I know you’re contemplating whether or not to do it right now. You’re probably thinking “He’ll never know if I don’t.” WELL I WILL!! AND I DO YOU LITTLE SHIT! But no seriously, no pressure lol) and if you do discover something new about yourself or something you could be doing different and if you feel like you want to share that with someone, feel free to hit me up. I would be more than happy to read all about it. It’s also perfectly fine if you don’t. I just know that sometimes when I realise or experience something, the first thing I want to do is share that with someone else. And I know it can be a bit of a bummer when no one’s around. And no word of a lie, as a writer you do some of your best work when you’re in a moment of self-realisation, and it’s always rather exciting to see what could become of those thoughts. I look forward to maybe or maybe not hearing from you guys. Whatever you do as long as you stay happy I’ve got no complaints. So on that note, I hope you and you loved ones are all safe and well and if you or anyone you do know are unwell then I hope you or them a speedy recovery. – Just a random thought, I don’t know if your parents were like this, but my mum would always say that there was nothing that a paracetamol couldn’t cure. Bless her cotton socks. Anyway… What are you still doing here?
 Wisdom Quotes. 2020. 290 Hope Quotes That Will Empower You. [online] Available at: <https://wisdomquotes.com/hope-quotes/> [Accessed 22 May 2020].
 Goalcast. 2020. 21 Ernest Hemingway Quotes To Use As Guiding Principles. [online] Available at: <https://www.goalcast.com/2018/09/19/ernest-hemingway-quotes/> [Accessed 22 May 2020].